Reality check 1,2 1,2

In today’s post, I go into racism.

Today, as a white woman, I experienced racism.

Racism has a textbook definition as being “a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others.”

I was chosen as a scapegoat, to take all anger out on, because I’m white. I had a high school friend, someone I’ve known for 15 years and first discovered Space with, commit psychological violence on me, because I’m white. Whenever you use personal details about a person, and weaponize them to make a person feel bad about who he or she is, that’s emotional and psychological warfare. And that was the final straw.

I’m no stranger to abuse, sad to say. But the gift of my experiences is that I can readily identify it. And repeat the advice I’ve been given – that all problems are spiritual problems. And you can’t reason with the devil.

So I removed myself from the situation. I didn’t once return the favor in hurting her because of her race. I didn’t make her feel uncomfortable for who she is. She antagonized me, and was looking for a fight – for three days! Furthermore, I’m grateful for the opportunity to witness my own growth and evolution as a kind, respectful human being.

We can show kindness and respect, without being bullied and abused. Sometimes silence and walking away is the only right answer.

I have finally recovered my good graces and sanity by relocating to a hotel (as we were sharing an AirBnb), but the reality is that Anger exists in the world today.

I had quite a good conversation today with someone about Stoicism. Stoicism is a philosophy that says human life ought to mimic life in nature. In other words, we were all born differently and for different purposes. We can’t all be leaders, and we can’t all be followers. It’s neither wrong to be one or the other. As just as a Tree may want to be a Flower, a Tree just can’t be anything, but a Tree. So let’s appreciate the Tree as it is. Let’s appreciate the Flower as it is. Let’s appreciate others as they are – WITHOUT TRYING TO IMPOSE EQUALITY. Because the truth is, nature is, by physical evidence, not equal. Functions are not equal. It is littered with diversity, and it’s beautiful. THAT’s what makes a dancefloor beautiful.

So the Stoics say, if you’re trying to live a life that is not conforming to the laws of nature, then life will be met with much friction – because it’s unnatural to fight who you are and the role you play in this vast galaxy.

Perhaps too much focus is on our Differences, and that’s what effectively takes the beauty away. If I was trying to look at a colorful forest, and nitpick all the differences between the things in the forest – wouldn’t that take away some of the joy? If I zoomed out and just looked at the vision as a whole, wouldn’t I be less consumed by hostile differences and enjoy the whole? That’s how I’ve been living my life. I grew up AS THE MINORITY in Miami. And my friend knows this, but she picks and chooses what aids her argument.

So when I was attacked today because of my white-ness, I realized that Anger is pervasive and it will manifest in a myriad of ways. Some people choose to be angry at the “system” because their life is hard. Guess what – life is hard for ALOT of people regardless of race. I didn’t get a 100% scholarship to Florida and join a sorority because I was white. I did it because I EARNED the grades. I paid for the sorority MYSELF. I wanted a social life that my parents didn’t give me.

As for my education, my mom took us to a public library growing up, and all people, regardless of race or economic background can access a public library. I have worked really hard for what I have. And it’s not because – I’m white. I dated the son of the richest man in Pennsylvania. He’s white. But that guy didn’t get a college degree, doesn’t hold a steady job. His mom didn’t read to him as a kid I don’t think. THESE are the factors that differentiate people, not race. Lord have mercy. I’m so different from him.

And naturally I’ve been doing a google deep dive because I had never heard of racism against a white person. But I know now what it looks like and feels like. I did read some interesting concepts about “white fragility” and it’s a feasible hypothesis and likelihood this exists. But fragility is different from hostility.

All I’m saying is that tensions are getting tough out there – and dance floors one day may not be a safe place for a diverse crowd.

We don’t have a racism problem, we have an anger problem!

Fight Hate. Fight Anger. It’s not me. Let Jesus heal your heart so you can move on, and live in Peace versus carrying out more Hate.

I’m proud of who I am and how far I’ve come. I embrace diversity. I embrace safety. Stand up for your self-respect and avoid bullies. This is a worthy cause.