A concert of joy and celebration at West Palm’s iThink amphitheater.
I haven’t danced like that in awhile. The visuals and pyrotechnics were top-notch. I made a new friend while dancing by the front ropes center-lawn. She has a podcast on Spotify called, “Soul Server,” and it seems synchronous with how I’m building my company. I’m approaching it as a service to my fellow man.
Soul service comes with sacrifice, and it is wonderful seeing the building blocks unfold before me. Like God keeps putting me in the right place at the right time. And I should be ever grateful to follow the path that is my Purpose. I think most people yearn for this moment – for this knowledge of Self and certainty of general direction.
So to that, I thank God. It is in the other realms I seem to be missing something. Or it feels like it at least. Realms like relational love and family. Like the building blocks in these facets of life have all but washed up and away with the ocean tide, leaving nothing permanent except a changed me.
I see my family differently. I know there’s at least one person out there who’s gone through something vaguely similar. And so that’s comforting.
I think I’m still learning who is a good person for me.
It sucks because at my age, you hope to have found your person, as in your person you travel with, have dates with, go to weddings with, plan the future with. And it seems elusive to me.
Family, marriage, and babies seem all too common actually. As if I’m the odd woman out. And I know to be grateful for my place. Nobody can have it all.
I’m able to dance uninhibited, dress the way I want, talk to who I want. Lol for the first time I approached a man and hit on him on Saturday at The Ben. I thought it was going well – he was going to the Odesza concert, too. When I asked who he was going with, he said his wife. My jaw dropped and I apologized. He laughed, but I felt like I had done something wrong. I told him I didn’t see a ring. (The truth is I didn’t even think to look for one.) Oh well, such is life.
The silver lining is that I saw my newfound courage and confidence take flight. I’m capable of going after what looks like a good thing, something a younger me wouldn’t have done. Especially when I have a drink in my hand bought by someone less interesting.
I know what I’m interested in. This third Virgo, he was deep you know? Today’s his birthday and as rare as it is to click with someone – you just gotta let things flow.
I miss talking with someone deep. And so instead of investing myself in a relationship – it all goes into my dog and my company. The power of Purpose comes with imposed and perhaps implied limitations. You simply cannot do it all, as much as common Tongue says you can.
So I sit on the beach with my dog at sunset, still elevated from the past week of events. My focus and my immediate future is clear. MusicPass full steam ahead.
I’ll keep you posted on the podcast!